To the Moon and Back
by love4funny
Summary: There were so many ways to prove how much you loved a person...


For so long, from the very moment I first laid eyes on her, I'd never thought that I would someday be able to say that she was truly mine. I'd tried to imagine what it would be like, yes, of course, had more than a few daydreams about her, but not once had I found myself under the impression that it would _actually _happen.

I'd spent close to a year trying at her, polishing those high hopes of mine which had all, at some point or another, involved having a future with her. But, as far as I could tell, I'd made little visible progress, if any, my endeavor finally ending itself on a platonic, but otherwise good, note.

And I thought that would be it. It went on in the exact same way for a long while, with Abby as just my best mate. Finally I'd made the decision to simply consider myself defeated, and I'd even managed to give up almost entirely on the idea of ever being with her. Not that it lasted, mind you.

I was never able to completely abandon the prospect of me and Abby, me _with_ Abby, couldn't ever manage to get over those little things that I was sure no one but me ever noticed, the looks, the smiles, little things that she was always giving to me and, as far as I could tell, no one else.

Even when I was relatively happy with Caroline, I still couldn't quite get over that one person that was almost constantly on my mind. I willingly let my own girlfriend, or so I'd thought, at least, take the back burner, though I'd never really sat down and taken the time to try and figure out why, maybe because there was that chance that I'd always known the reason.

I still couldn't explain why I hadn't been able to simply accept it until I finally _needed_ to, admitting the truth both to her and, probably, to myself, in an earth-shattering revelation shouted over the side of a cliff. It was Abby, it was always Abby, that I cared about most. I _loved_ her, so much so that I wasn't even able to repeat those three little words to her when she'd, finally, actually _wanted_ to hear them.

Standing there in the middle of our flat that day, I just hadn't been able to bring myself to put everything on the line for those three words that meant so much. Maybe it was fear, or maybe it was more that some part of me thought, maybe even knew, that it was too soon, but whatever it was, something had stopped me.

And it was probably that same something that, close to a year later, had let me know that it was the perfect time to tell her exactly how I felt about her. That something had known, somehow or another, that at that moment, up in that tree, nestled somewhere in the depths of the Cretaceous, she was finally ready to admit that she felt the same way about me.

She hadn't told me right then, hadn't said much of anything really, but that didn't bother me, she hadn't needed to. She never needed to. Out of all of the things that I loved most about Abby, that would definitely have to be very near the top of the list. Every time I needed it, she let me know exactly what she was thinking, without as much as a single word.

I opened the door slowly to our bedroom, trying my hardest to not make any more noise than was necessary, in case she still needed that extra bit of quiet. When I'd left for the bathroom a few minutes earlier, she'd looked as if she could still use a few more minutes of sleep, and I certainly didn't want to be the one to deprive her of that.

_My god. _I could feel a smile starting to creep across my face as soon as I saw her, kneeled at the edge of the bed, facing away from me to look out the window, looking every bit as beautiful as she always did, her hair pulled messily back out of her face, wearing nothing more than one of those lacy little bras of hers and a pair of my boxers. _My_ boxers, I laughed silently to myself. _Mine._

Even now, with it going on three whole months that we'd been together, there were still days when I could scarcely believe it. Just one look at her told you that she could have any man she wanted, some of them without even as much as a lifted finger on her part, but no. Out of all of the options that were open to her, she'd chosen me. And I couldn't even begin to measure, didn't have the slightest idea how to describe, how happy that made me.

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><p>I could hear Connor's slow, tentative footsteps behind me, getting louder and louder over time as he came closer to me. It seemed, for a moment, almost as if he was trying to scare me, even though I knew better, I was confident enough to bet on that he would never want to. No. He wanted nothing more than for me to be able to think of him as the person I ran to whenever I was frightened, certainly not as the person I found myself running <em>from<em>.

"Hey," he greeted me softly as soon as he reached me, talking to me as if I were a small child, sliding his arms gently around my waist, leaving me to become wrapped up in his warmth. He brought his lips slowly, tentatively to my neck, scattering a few small kisses along my skin. "How are you doing?"

Lately I'd been finding it near impossible to keep a smile off of my face whenever he was around me, and now was no different, the tiny smirk that I'd started off with well on its way to becoming a full-blown grin. I turned my head to catch his lips with mine, bringing my hand up to his cheek as our lips met, trailing my fingers lightly over his skin.

"Better now," I answered him, having only enough time to offer him a small laugh before he brought his lips back to mine for a long, languid kiss. His lips were warm, pliable, under mine, his kiss slow and gentle as we fell into a sort of rhythm. I pulled reluctantly away with a smile, loving the feel of him against me, of his arms around me, for once noticing just how much I adored the smell of him, sweet, warm and earthy, almost comforting. "God, I love you," he muttered softly into my ear, laying his head against mine as he tightened his arms around me, leaving his chin to rest gently on my shoulder.

I tilted my head to look at him, running my eyes slowly over all of his features. The soft, almost golden light of the morning bathed the room in light, bringing out all of the best things about him, causing me to take note, not for the first time, of just how attractive he really was. "Really?" I asked gently, the slightest hint of a laugh making its way through my voice, causing my words to quiver a little as I looked up at him.

His nod was hard, urgent, against my shoulder, as if he was almost taken aback by my question, completely amazed by the sheer thought of my not knowing how he felt about me. "Yeah, darling," he told me gently, his voice soft in my ear, before he pulled back to place a soft kiss at the top of my head, his lips getting lost in my hair for a short moment before he returned his head to my shoulder. "You know I do." He pulled his arms tighter around me, giving me a gentle squeeze, as if for emphasis. "So much."

"Mmmmm," I mused quietly, a tiny grin coming over my face as I turned slowly to face him, lifting my lips to his for another little peck. It still felt so nice to hear him say that, to know just the extent to which he cared about me. I suppose it gave me a sense of security, being able to safely say that I would always have him to lean on. And God knows I needed him. "How much?" I started to tease him gently, hearing my voice go up an octave or two, a hint of laughter just starting to peek out from under my words.

He looked appreciatively over me, taking his time in bringing his eyes up and down my body, as if trying to make sure he took in every inch of me. After a long moment, his eyes met mine, leaving me to get lost in the warm, chocolate brown of his retinas. "More than I should," he admitted quietly, offering me a wide smile, that one little dimple of his managing to stand out just that much more in the soft sunlight.

"Well…" I smiled sweetly up at him, slipping my fingers under the collar of the v-neck he was wearing, stopping for a minute to get a feel of the soft, thin fabric, running my fingertips over that one little sliver of his skin that was just barely covered. "I love you more," I finished softly, pulling him gently down onto the bed until he was kneeling in front of me, leaving no more than mere inches standing between the two of us.

"Really?" he asked softly, almost as if talking to himself, the slightest bit of what sounded, to me, like giddiness just starting to show through his voice as he let out a small, warm laugh, pulling his arms tighter around me, the small gap between us quickly filling itself as he pulled me closer to him.

I offered him a small nod as I looked up at him, bringing my hands up to either side of his face, curving my palms so as to gently cup his cheeks, my thumb stroking slowly along his jaw line. "Mmhmm."

He watched me for a long moment, as if having fallen into some sort of trance, the small smile that spread slowly over his face serving as the one and only thing that let me know that he was still all there. "No," he said with a small laugh, shaking his head softly, almost weakly, as he pushed my head gently to his chest, running his fingers softly through my hair as I buried my head in his shoulder. "That's not possible."

I lifted my head slowly to his, a slight look of confusion making its way across my face as I looked patiently, encouragingly, up at him, waiting on those next few words that, I hoped, would explain everything.

He almost immediately noticed my being puzzled, his small, un-mocking laugh warm and soft as it hit my lips, the taste of it almost sweet as I swallowed it down before bringing my lips back up to his. "You know why?" he teased me gently, his lips brushing over mine as he spoke, having pulled away just enough for that one small question. I shook my head slightly, leaning forward to touch my forehead softly against his, finding myself oddly fascinated by him, to the point where I was hanging on his every word, waiting on his every move. "Why?"

"Because…" I watched as he flashed one of those little smiles of his, the kind I could just never bring myself to resist, his eyes bright and crinkling at the corners as he looked back at me. He stroked his hands slowly over the sides of my body before finally bringing his hands to a rest, one at my hip, the other resting lightly at the small of my back. "I love you…" he trailed off, looking at me for a short moment as he thought of the right thing to say to me. "All the way to the moon," he finished quietly, smiling proudly back at me, almost completely convinced that by saying just that, he'd finally won, finally put an end to all of our banter.

He really should've known better than that, to think that I would be the type to give up on anything that easily, much less this. I gave him a tiny laugh, trying my hardest to let him think that I'd been finally defeated, to let him keep that sense of pride for just one moment more before I dished out my next serve. I leaned closer to him, placing a couple of soft kisses along the side of his neck before bringing my lips up to his ear. "Is that right?" I asked softly, hearing my voice drop down to almost a whisper, my laugh ultimately ending up coming out as a bit too giddy as he let out a small, slightly nervous, "Mmhmm."

"Well, Mr. Temple…" I stopped to run my fingers down the collar of his t-shirt, making sure to offer him the same amount of suspense as he'd given me. "I love you to the moon…and back," I pulled away from him with a grin, raising my eyes to his, leaving him with a silent challenge as I draped my arms gently over his shoulders. "So I think I win."

"Oh?" He once again brought his lips softly to mine, running his fingertips lightly along my spine, his touch just light enough to leave a pleasant tickle on my skin, one that managed to linger on, even after he'd returned his hands back to where he'd had them before. By now, Connor had learned almost exactly what to do to me, could make me so much as melt with just one look, knew how to make me quiver under just the slightest of his touches. Now was no different, I found myself surrendering to those eyes of his, my knees growing slightly weak as I looked up at that smile of his. "You think so?"

I gave him a weak nod, finding myself once again entranced by him those eyes of his, completely and utterly fascinated by him for a few short moments before I was finally able to catch myself. "Yeah," I replied him quietly, offering him a slow grin, brushing my fingers through his hair, pushing it tenderly back and out of his face. "I do."

I watched him as he tilted his head slowly back, letting out a low, breathy laugh as he looked up at the ceiling, before bringing his face down to mine, his soft smile making me want to do nothing more than snuggle deeper into his arms, stay right here, with him, for as long as I possibly could. "That's not right though, is it?" I heard him say softly, that slight hint of playfulness still more than noticeable in his voice, though slowly fading as he continued on. "Because I…" He gave a short pause, looking around himself for a moment, as if the words he needed were hiding somewhere in the room, hanging in the air just waiting for him to pick them up whenever he was ready. "…would do absolutely anything for you," he finally finished, his voice ultimately coming out as no more than a whisper, stroking my cheek softly, the slightly rough texture of his hands leaving that welcome, all too familiar feeling on my skin, that deep-down tickle that I couldn't, and would never even imagine wanting to, get away from.

"Would you?" I tried my hardest to laugh, to give him some, however false it may have been, indication that I was just fine with that, maybe even happy with what he'd just told me. I rolled my eyes half-heartedly, further trying to fool him, and even myself, into thinking that I was still alright, that just the thought of that one thing, Connor ready to do _'absolutely anything'_ for me, didn't scare the hell out of me.

He gave me a soft kiss on the forehead, putting all of my worried thoughts to rest, if only for a short moment, pulling his arms tighter around me, as if he had some way of knowing exactly what I was thinking, calming me without even the slightest of words. "Anything," he said softly, pulling away from me for a moment to look over each of my features, paying the most careful attention I'd ever seen in him, before giving me a long nod, catching my eyes with his, as if trying to take one last step to make sure I really believed just how serious he was. As if he had even the slightest reason to doubt that.

I lifted my eyes to look at him once more, ending up having to shift my eyes away from his, if only to get away from all of the sincerity I noticed in them, his unbridled, limitless trust for me, right there, in those eyes of his, put up on display, just for me to see. I searched his face, my eyes darting quickly, too quickly, over his features, desperate for some sign, anything, that could tell me that he was still kidding, that he was only exaggerating, handing me promises that, as soon as we left our bedroom, would be nothing more than just sweet talk, meaningless words muttered between lovers. "Connor, that's- that's a lot," I told him softly, once again trying to produce a laugh, once again coming up empty-handed, just not quite able to pretend that nothing was wrong, especially not with Connor, of all people.

I could only close my eyes and give in to him as he took my face in his hands, gently stroking my cheeks with his thumbs, his touch doing nothing except for making me all that much more unable to look at him, look _into _him. "Not to me. Not for you," he whispered to me. I built up the courage to open my eyes, only to see him shaking his head, looking up at the ceiling above us, as if in disbelief with himself. "I mean, Abby, I would…" "What?" By now, I was to the point of hanging on his every word, watching everything he did, so scared of what he might say next, of what promise he would make me next, of which promises, out of those, he would actually try and keep. "I would die for you."

_No. Please no._ I pleaded with myself for a long moment, staring up at him blank-faced, trying to think of a million excuses to make for myself, thousands of reasons why I shouldn't worry, why those few words shouldn't have taken the breath out of me as if I'd just been kicked in the gut. I felt my eyes start to fill with tears as I stared up into his eyes. By anything, he really, truly meant just that — anything. He would risk anything for me, even himself. And that was something that I just couldn't handle, couldn't even begin to come to terms with.

"Oh, God…" I heard my voice come out as a choked whisper, trailing off into silence, silence that held for no more than just a moment, those few short seconds before I finally reacted in the only way that I knew to, in the only way that, at the moment, came to me, without so much as a single thought on my part. My hand, almost on reflex, came up to hit his cheek, hard, the sound seeming to pierce the air around us, leaving the two of us, in its wake, to sit in the stark silence that followed.

I couldn't take his face as he looked back at me, hurt and stunned, his eyes filled with worry, with confusion, as he tried to rationalize my actions, tried to make sense of why exactly I'd just done that, when he'd been doing nothing more than trying to make me feel better, trying to prove to me just the extent to which he would never _hurt_ me. It was like this for only a few short seconds, regardless of just how much time truly seemed to pass, before he seemed to realize, all at once, just what it was that had truly gotten into me just a moment before — fear. Fear of losing him, of losing everything I had with him, of not being able to go on without him.

"Come here." His words came out soft and slow, one of his attempts at soothing me as I collapsed into him, my tears, that had started out, at first, as merely gentle reminders of how much I needed him, now soaking through his shirt as I decided to just give up and let them fall, unable to get away from them. He held me tight against him as I cried, whispering soft nothings in my ear to try and calm me, reassuring me that everything was going to be alright.

I brought my head weakly up to his shoulder, nuzzling my head against him as he touched his lips gently to my forehead. "I'm sorry," I tried, my words, coming out as what sounded like a whimper, would've been barely audible, if that, if it hadn't been for the silence that surrounded us. I put my arms over his shoulders, embedding myself deeper into his arms, the comfort of his warmth, of his words, the only thing I wanted, the only thing I needed, could ever need.

"It's alright," he whispered, shushing me softly, running the fingers of one hand through my hair, trying so hard to make everything okay for me. "You don't have to be sorry." He kissed my hair tenderly, resting his chin gently at the top of my head as he held me. "You never have to be sorry." His fingers slipped under my chin, his thumb coming up to stroke my cheek, wiping away my tears, as he slowly brought my head up to his, giving me a long nod. "Okay?"

"Okay." I nodded faintly back at him, offering him a weary smile as I looked up into his eyes, finally seeing, in them, the one thing that I really wanted to — understanding.

Understanding, of me, of what I feared, of what I wanted and what I didn't, but most of all, understanding of what I needed, what I would hold on to with every part of me, in whatever ways I had to, as long as I possibly could.

Him.

THE END

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><p><strong>So...tell me what you think? :)<strong> Heard from the few of my friends that read it that it was a little cliche? I guess, maybe so...haha anyway!** Reviews are always more than welcome! :) ALWAYS. **


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